Unless you know for absolutely, 100 percent sure that your client is not vegan, vegetarian, Jewish, Muslim, a recovering alcoholic or teetotaler by choice, don’t risk offending him with liquor, wine or gift certificate for meat (particularly pork).

This isn’t just for political correctness; this is because most holiday-themed gifts are completely worthless for all but a few weeks each year. Even if they like the Manhattan Transfer’s latest holiday album or a reindeer sweater, it just clutters up the closet for 340 days a year.

Everyone loves a Chia Pet, right? One hopes so, but if there’s the slightest chance that your oh-so-hilarious gift joke could strike a nerve instead of a funny bone, don’t do it. Is a potential laugh really worth potentially losing business?