Mind Games
Find out what's really going on in your opponent's head.
Negotiating is like playing stud poker. It's the cards you
can't see that really drive the betting. Want to know what your
opponent is thinking? Try these tactics: - Make conversation. Use open-ended queries
to get the other side talking-questions that begin with who, what,
where, when, how or why. Avoid questions that can be answered with
a terse yes or no. Do this while your opponent is off guard, before
you start negotiating in earnest. Listen carefully. Use the power
of silence to make them feel awkward and even chattier.
- Ask the same question twice. Are you
picking up inconsistencies? A classic move is to ask questions to
which you already know the answers. You'll learn more from the
wrong answers than the right ones. Make a deliberate mistake
repeating back some information. If the other side doesn't
catch it, you know something's up. If you really need to put
someone in check, consider springing a blunt, direct question.
Listen to what they say, but remember: It's their body language
and tone that will give them away.
- Listen to the pros. Experienced
professionals are usually very skilled at discerning hidden
agendas. Savvy agents, bankers, brokers, CPAs and attorneys already
know the many ways you can be snaked. When they say something
doesn't smell right, pay attention, and act accordingly.
A speaker and attorney in Los Angeles, Marc
Diener is author of Deal Power.
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