Success Requires Knowing What You Won't Compromise Flexibility and tolerance are important but know what you won't bend on is crucial.
By Joe De Sena Edited by Dan Bova
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People always ask we: "What are the keys to success in life and business?"
Is the success question--subjective?
Related: 3 Keys to Winning in Business and Life
I could talk for hours on the subject -- particularly about what's worked for me. But, truth is, all successful people answer a bit differently. That's why, when I meet people like Elizabeth Weil, a dedicated distance runner and one of the most successful women in the venture capital field, I ask them the same question. I want to learn from them.
Exercise
As a child, Weil watched her mother take up running and swimming as therapy for a divorce. She'd wake up before dawn to get in a good swim or run -- every day, no matter what. Morning exercise was non-negotiable. "She was out the door every morning around 4, because she knew that time of day was not going to be compromised by work or family or anything else," Weil says today. "She could always get her workout in."
Today, Weil treats her run with the same reverence—even with three kids (including infant twins) and an incredibly demanding career. "For me," she says, "running is a non-negotiable. Every job, every vacation, every business trip, I have my running shoes and I make time for it. Usually I get up very early, like my mother, and I just get it done. I feed one baby, I feed the other baby, and then I get out the door."
This doesn't mean that life doesn't occasionally happen in unexpected ways. "Things do come up, but I still get my running in."
It probably helps that Weil surrounds herself with like-minded people. "My husband is also an ultra-runner," she says. "We joke that if going out to brunch was a non-negotiable, our relationship probably wouldn't work."
Related: The Morning Rituals of 10 of the World's Most Inspirational
The "how-to" of Weil's success.
When I asked Weil to boil her success down to a few takeaways, she answers immediately, which tells me that I'm talking to a person with a clear and well-defined plan for success. With Weil, these four elements underlie everything else:
- Create time for non-negotiables. "Along with my daily run," she says, "another non-negotiable is spending time with my family, which is a lot harder now that I have three kids instead of just one."
- Work with people you like. "Great people empower you and make you a better person," she says.
- Live and work in a great location. "Life is too short to be in a place where you can't do the things you like to do," she says.
- Have a personal advisory board. "Fill it with people from all aspects of your life—an old college professor, an old colleague, your best friend, just people who know you really well," she says. "You can check in with them and use them as part of your gut check as you go through life."
Work with great people.
Working with great people, in a great location, and carving out time for non-negotiables are also parts of my long-standing recipe for success. However, Weil's fourth element—having a personal advisory board—is a new one for me, and I'm going to put that into practice.
Be a "people" person.
Weil also talks about the fact that success in business is about more than just working your butt off. Admittedly, you need to work really, really hard in the job you've got if you want people to respect you and give you better opportunities. But you also need to be a people person.
Related: 10 Ways to Be the Person People Like to Work With
"I learned this the hard way because I didn't make time for people when I was at Twitter," she says. "I was so busy with my job there that I didn't make connections for my next job. I tell people now, "When you pop up for your next job, you'll wish you had gotten to know more people.'
You won't get a job just by uploading your résumé.
You almost never get a job by uploading your résumé to a blind website. Jobs come from people you know, word of mouth, so you need to be good at your job and to also foster relationships."
The simple truth is that very few women are high-level decision makers at venture capital firms. Weil is one of only a handful. But it doesn't surprise me at all that she has made it to the top when so many others haven't, because she learned how to be successful early on from her mom.
Related: 50 Easy Business and Personal Goals Everyone Should Do
A life, business, and parenting tool.
Another thing I take away from my conversation with Weil: Our kids watch us and they learn from what we do. We owe them the extra effort. My kids watch me with my non-negotiables, which for me are health and wellness and with the effort I put into my business and family.
My kids learn what it takes to succeed without me sitting them down and lecturing them. I live the lesson, and that is a pretty awesome parenting tool.