Entrepreneurs, Stop Seeking Validation From People Who Don't Understand Entrepreneurship is not for people who need permission from others to begin their journey.
By Kimanzi Constable Edited by Dan Bova
Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.
As an entrepreneur, you started a business to create freedom in your life, gain control of your time, and financial security to enjoy life without worrying about money. As you make power moves, you wonder if you're making the right decisions. You might be part of a mastermind or have other entrepreneurs in your life that you're close to and confide in. You might tell your family about all the things that you're doing. You understand there is value in the wisdom from different perspectives but you might be looking for something else without even realizing it.
When the advice and opinions are not what you expected, you're disappointed. That disappointment can turn into anger, depression and a loss of motivation. The main reason for the disappointment -- and more -- is that you were really seeking outside validation. You were looking for permission and reassurance to do the things you believe are right for you and your business. When the outside validation doesn't come, it turns into other emotions and feelings that you give the power to affect you in a negative way. Here's what entrepreneurs need to understand about seeking outside validation.
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Don't depend on anyone else for emotional, mental or entrepreneurial strength.
You have to be your biggest cheerleader, your biggest fan club, the one person who fully appreciates the amazingness that is you. You will be disappointed 100 percent of the time if you depend on someone else for your mental and emotional strength. You need supportive people in your life but real strength comes from within. It starts with you.
When you understand and implement self-love, confidence and positive self-image, you will be a stronger person and that leads to a stronger entrepreneur. You will stop looking for it in others, and most of the time, in all the wrong places. When you start with strength, you can build upon it when you bring others into the mix. You become a stronger entrepreneur by learning from mistakes and using them as motivation to be better.
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You started your business for a reason.
You didn't start your business because someone else convinced you that you should. You started your business because you saw a need and a gap that you could help fill. You started a business to make an impact while generating income. You didn't start your business seeking outside validation, so it doesn't make sense to need it while growing your business. Your main reason is what should fuel your growth, motivation, and be your inspiration. Not the opinion of others that don't see the full picture.
If you have been seeking outside validation, it's time to reconnect with your beginnings. It's time for you to understand that validation from others doesn't put money into your bank account or bring in new customers. Showing potential leads the value of what you provide does that and that comes from you.
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Most people in your life won't get it anyways.
Entrepreneurship has been around since the beginning of time, yet most people in your life won't understand. We have been taught life should be lived a certain way. Entrepreneurship challenges the status quo. Even if you tell people exactly what you're doing and the amazing results you're getting, there will still be some confusion. Seeking validation from people who don't understand is a great recipe for failure. You can take advice from others but don't be emotionally tied to their responses. Be confident in the decisions you're making.
This is your life and business. You are the one that has to live with the consequences of your decisions. You are the one who has to make it through when everything feels like it's falling apart. Every entrepreneur experiences those moments. If you go through the hard times alone, you shouldn't let outside validation dictate whether or not you have good times. Build your strength within you. Use good advice to complement what you're doing -- not dictate it.
Surround yourself with entrepreneurs and people who give you honest advice that's not full of judgment and their personal preferences. Listen to the advice and filter what works best for your goals. Don't take it as law or what you should be doing. Validate yourself.
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