Ask the Relationship Expert: 'How Do I Reconnect With My Partner When We're Both So Busy With Our Businesses?' A relationship between two entrepreneurs doesn't leave much time for togetherness.
By Marla N. Mattenson Edited by Dan Bova
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What happens when running a business gets in the way of your romantic relationship, or vice versa? In this weekly column, relationship expert Marla N. Mattenson responds to entrepreneurs with love dilemmas -- because the hidden power of successful businesses are the stable, loving relationships behind the scenes.
Dear Marla,
My wife and I each own separate businesses that we love, but we're always on our phones, and we're so busy, it's hard to find the time to just be together. I miss those carefree days when we just hung out and relaxed and talked or visioned about the future. Do you have any tips on how my wife and I can connect with such limited time?
Signed,
Desire to Re-connect
Dear Desire,
It sounds as though things are going really well. You are enjoying your business, and you want to enjoy your wife more. That's fantastic, and highly encouraged. Entrepreneurs don't have to sacrifice their relationship in order to be successful. In fact, the opposite is true. When your relationship fills you up, your business will also thrive.
Related: Ask the Relationship Expert: 'I Resent That My Partner Lets Important Tasks Fall Through the Cracks'
To help you create more loving time with your wife, here is a technique I teach that literally takes three minutes in the morning and three minutes in the evening. Although it doesn't take a lot of time, it will leave you and your wife feeling satiated and loved.
I call it the "Exquisite Attention Practice." The Exquisite Attention Practice takes one minute for each person. The partner who's going to receive first, let's say that's your wife, stands relaxed and waits to receive, with her eyes open or closed. Then you feel the love you have inside for your wife, and without touching her, use your imagination to send love out through your hands into her body. As you're doing this, you're thinking something along the lines of, Yes, yes, yes, I love this woman, I love my wife. This is my sweetheart. I love her hair, her smile, her shoulders, etc. You send those good vibes all around her body, and your wife gets to just receive, receive, receive. After one minute of this, you hug, heart to heart (that's left side to left side), which might take 30 seconds. And then you switch. You get to receive while your wife sends you love.
Related: Ask the Relationship Expert: 'Sometimes I'm More Passionate About My Business Than My Partner'
With this short and really beautiful technique, you and your wife can reinvoke those days you long for -- and reclaim the missing piece of the vision you created together all those years ago. In other words, you really can have it all.
