In the quest to enhance personal likability, we've gathered insights from 25 professionals, including psychologists and CEOs. From the importance of practicing active listening to the power of remembering personal details, these experts share one simple habit or thing that can make you more likable.
Practice Active Listening
Become a great listener. While we may like someone who is a great storyteller, we like people who listen to our stories even more. The key is to be present, focused, and truly listen to what someone is telling us. Too often, we get distracted or wrapped up in what we're going to say next and miss the important details of what someone is saying. If you really want to be more likable, be sure to ask the person you're listening to a follow-up question that shows you've been paying attention.
Craig Kain, Psychologist & Psychotherapist, Dr. Craig Kain, Psychology Services
Show Genuine Interest
The key is to focus on them, not you. Likability is focused on showing genuine interest in the other person and actively listening. Ask open-ended questions, give them your full attention, be empathetic, and think about how you can help them. Once you understand what interests them, pick one topic that you authentically are interested in, and connect on that.
Laura Nguyen, Entrepreneur, Advisor, Certified Executive Coach, Solle Solutions
Embrace Authenticity
I have found that the most valuable thing you can do to be likable is to show up authentically. People like those whom they can trust. This means the more you are willing to be vulnerable and transparent, the more others will trust you. Likewise, the more they can trust you are who you say you are, the more likable you become. Showing up authentically in a world that wants you to conform is no easy feat; however, it is the most notable journey anyone can take. Just be you.
Yvonne Victor, Founder & CEO, Yvonne Victor Life Coach Life Design
Engage in Conversations
Relaxing and engaging frequently in discussions actually helps in making you more likable, both in a business and casual setting. It's usually better overall to spark conversations, be it at professional mixers, corporate meetings, or casual get-togethers.
Demonstrating authentic curiosity about others, posing inquiries, and engaging in active listening helps in building deeper connections. Such behavior not only renders one more accessible but also cultivates mutual understanding and confidence.
It centers on being fully present and ensuring others feel acknowledged. In a time where many gravitate towards familiar groups, the act of extending oneself to connect can distinguish you and greatly improve your likability.
Raisha Shrestha, Marketing Manager, Ling
Inquire About Others
One simple habit to seem more likable is to ask others questions about themselves. When we take an interest in others, we come across as more likable and approachable. We all inherently—to some degree—like to talk about ourselves, so when someone gives us this opportunity, we feel good and like the other person for doing so.
Sarah Watters, Principal Behavioral Scientist, 50 West
Be Authentically You
I try to focus on being genuine. Just being myself, weird quirks and all. Now, that doesn't mean being rude, but it does mean being honest and open in my interactions. People appreciate authenticity. When you're true to yourself, your interests, and your sense of humor, it allows others to connect with the real you. It doesn't mean you have to be loud or the life of the party, but just be comfortable in your own skin. Plus, it attracts the kind of people who appreciate me for who I am, which makes building real connections way easier.
Scott Gabdullin, CEO and Founder, Authority Factors
Express Curiosity
If you want to be more likable, challenge yourself to be legitimately interested in other people! You will ask great questions, listen intently, and give people the focus and attention they crave. People will feel seen, and they need and love that! They will always come away feeling like they had a good experience interacting with you, and that makes you likable.
Michele Caron, Life Coach, Founder, MyLifeCoach.com
Connect With Eye Contact
My favorite way to be more likable starts with wanting others to like me. I know I'm likable, so I welcome people into my heart so they can see and feel what they might like about me. One way I do that is, first of all, to make eye contact and show them that I'm listening. They can feel it because when I look at them, they feel the energy between us. They feel the connection, and that connection is my heart.
Marilyn Shannon, Life Coach, Dialogue Inc
Accept Your Whole Self
Get to know the person in the mirror – you, and then embrace all of you, including the parts that you didn't think were worthy of being liked or accepted; create space inside of your heart for those parts, let them be loved by you, and you'll see serious magic unfold! By embracing and truly accepting your "less attractive" parts, you allow your strengths, your natural charisma to shine brighter. People can't help but be attracted to you because they feel that you like yourself, without pretense.
And for those of you who are noticing a voice in your head – "Yeah, yeah, that's great, but I've failed, I'm not good enough, I don't like myself because…" (fill in the blank) – that's the part that you want to see and love first. And if you notice resistance to loving that part, create space for that resistance to be here too. Don't force any of it to go away, but don't buy into the mind's 'story' either; just notice all the inner storytelling with innocence and curiosity – like a toddler watching tiny ants crawling. When you stop pretending to yourself that some parts of you don't exist (because you learned as a kid that those parts are not likable), you'll naturally become more likable, and it won't even matter, because you'll be so full of energy and aliveness that you'll be unstoppable!
Valentina Savelyeva, Leadership Coach, Valentina Savelyeva Coaching
Adopt a Servant-Leadership Mindset
The best way for business owners to become more likable is to help others. Adopt a servant-leadership mindset, understanding that you must first serve others before you can lead. Every good employer knows their employees are their most important asset, and in today's highly competitive workforce, talented employees have choices and won't stay where they don't feel appreciated. By leading with empathy, prioritizing employee growth and well-being, and acting as a role model, mentor, and servant leader, you can ensure there's mutual trust, respect, and likability with those who help run your business.
John Feldmann, Senior Communications Specialist
Create a Supportive Environment
One simple habit to be more likable is to foster a supportive and nurturing environment, just as I have done throughout my career in education and literacy. During my time teaching first grade and later as a literacy specialist, I always prioritized creating a safe, loving, and nurturing space for my students. This approach doesn't just apply to children; it can be just as effective with adults. Being genuinely caring and supportive helps people feel valued, which in turn makes you more likable.
For example, when I started the PB&J (Picture Books & Jen) virtual professional learning series during the pandemic, I saw how creating a community where teachers felt supported and valued made a significant difference. Teachers from around the world would join my Saturday morning workshops, not just for the educational content but for the sense of community. One participant, Suzanne Ward, aptly said, "Come for the teaching points, stay for the community." This underscores the importance of creating an environment where people feel they belong and are appreciated.
Another way to be more likable is to share your passion and expertise generously. Through my work, I've always aimed to empower educators with valuable resources and strategies. By providing accessible, high-quality content and being responsive to feedback, I've earned the trust and admiration of educators globally. The success of my product is a testament to how sharing your unique strengths can resonate with others. This principle can be applied in any setting: be kind, supportive, and generous with your knowledge, and you'll naturally become more likable.
Jen Jones, CEO, Hello Literacy, Inc
Assume Positive Intentions
Assume the best (instead of the worst) about people. Believing in other people's good intentions helps you be more curious, patient, and open to connection. It makes your conversations more interesting and honest, and people will always remember that they felt good in your presence.
Linsi Brownson, Business Coach, Spark Collaborative
Stay Curious in Relationships
A simple habit you can do to be more likable is to remain curious about others. The ability to approach relationships, especially conflict, with curiosity versus judgment or preconceived opinions, is the key ingredient to forming authentic connections.
Michelle Enjoli, Career Development Speaker and Coach, Michelle Enjoli International
Listen and Show Empathy
I genuinely listen to others. I focus on understanding what people are saying, showing that I value their thoughts and feelings. I make it a point to maintain eye contact and nod to show I'm engaged. I also ask follow-up questions to deepen the conversation. This habit makes others feel heard and builds trust and rapport. Everyone wants to be heard, and this is a rare quality both as a team member and as a human today. As a team member, I practice being empathetic by putting myself in their shoes. I remember small details from past conversations, which people appreciate. Recalling their stories or interests shows that I care. This simple act of genuine listening and empathy has helped me connect better with my team and be more likable.
Bhavik Sarkhedi, Writer, Bhavik Sarkhedi & Co.
Ask Stimulating Questions
Improve your conversation skills by asking better questions—ones that lead to stimulating, engaging, meandering discussions.
People like those who show genuine interest in them. Instead of asking the usual "How are you?" or "What do you do?", try questions that spark engaging conversations. Interesting questions make you memorable and show that you genuinely want to get to know the person you're speaking to. An easy way to get started is to pick up a deck of conversation cards.
They're usually the size of a standard playing card deck, offering options for intriguing questions that instantly start interesting exchanges. These can help you develop your conversation skills and make getting to know others more enjoyable. My favorites are from BestSelf Co. and TableTopics.
Phoebe Gavin, Career and Leadership Coach, Better With Phoebe
Give Mini-Compliments
In the world of digital marketing, it's all about building connections and engaging with your audience. And guess what? The same applies to being more likable! Here's a super-simple habit you can incorporate into your social media strategy (and real life!):
Become a master of the "mini-compliment."
People love feeling appreciated, and a quick, genuine compliment can go a long way. It doesn't have to be elaborate. Here are some ideas:
Respond to comments with a "Thanks for sharing!" or "Love your perspective!"
Notice someone's cool profile picture and say, "That's a fantastic shot!"
See someone retweeting or sharing your content? A simple "Thanks for the boost!" goes a long way.
These mini-compliments show you're paying attention and fostering a sense of community. People will be more likely to engage with you and see you in a positive light. And that's a win-win for social media and real life!
Alex M, Digital Marketing Manager, Tech.us
Balance Passion With Fun
Be fun. As an entrepreneur, you are driven by passion. You want your business to make a difference, but when you become too focused on that, you come off as intense and unlikable. People like to see passion, but they will like you more if you are passionate about them and others. Share a joke, follow up on someone's plans or those of their kids, etc. For example, you can ask someone you have interacted with before, "I remember your daughter's soccer tournament. How is it going? I heard she was a fierce player and the team is likely to win." Show people that they matter too, just like anything else you are passionate about.
Oleksiy Torokhtiy, Founder, Torokhtiy Weightlifting
Remember Names and Details
For me, it has always been an ability to remember names and something about their personal life. For example, I normally remember my team members' spouses' names and professions, or their children's names. The eyes really brighten up when I name their spouses or children and ask what they have been up to lately.
Kammal Kkalra, Director Operations, VEGNONVEG
Talk Less, Listen More
Talk less, listen more. People like to talk about themselves, so if you can get good at prompting others to talk about themselves, they will view you as more likable. Try to be conscious of how much you are talking about yourself when in others' company and truly practice developing listening skills. We humans want to be heard; it's a vital need and want to connect and share our thoughts. Listening is an easy way to develop genuine relationships and get people to appreciate you.
Rachel Neill, Co-Founder and CEO, Figgy
Cultivate Emotional Intelligence
Make an effort to improve our emotional intelligence. High-EQ individuals understand the value of relationship management. They possess a strong sense of self-awareness, have the ability to control their emotions, and have an acute social awareness. They are compassionate, adaptable, and assertive all at the same time. They're also genuine, own up to mistakes, and self-correct. Lastly, these individuals adhere to "the platinum rule," which calls for greater consideration and empathy in treating others how they want to be treated, rather than how they'd personally want to be treated. Fortunately, neuroplasticity gives us the ability to continually raise our EQ!
Janelle Paris, Co-Founder and Owner, MAEd., LPCC-S, Guiding House
Ask Clarifying Questions
Ask deepening or clarifying questions and actually listen for the answers. Everyone likes to feel seen, heard, and understood. Try asking follow-up questions, even in casual conversations, and you'll not only be more likable, but you'll also be more memorable as well.
Jessica Latimer, Founder, By Design Creative Agency
Consistently Show Gratitude
One simple habit that can make you more likable is consistently showing gratitude. Expressing gratitude regularly, whether it's for small favors or significant help, goes a long way in building strong, positive relationships.
I've found that expressing gratitude is crucial for maintaining a supportive and collaborative work environment. Whether acknowledging a team member's hard work on a project, thanking a colleague for their assistance, or simply expressing appreciation for daily efforts, these small gestures of gratitude can have a significant impact.
Showing gratitude can be as simple as sending a thank-you note, offering verbal appreciation during meetings, or recognizing someone's efforts in front of the team. These actions boost morale and help make everyone feel valued.
In my experience, when people feel appreciated, they are more motivated and engaged in their work. It also strengthens relationships, making it easier to collaborate and communicate effectively.
Samantha Easton, CEO, Real Estate Broker, Blue Diamond Sales & Rentals
Be Heartfelt
This might sound cliché, but regularly expressing gratitude and politeness can significantly enhance your likability. A heartfelt "thank you" or a kind gesture not only shows appreciation but also fosters positive relationships and strengthens your network.
Paul Aubert, Co-Founder, Noovo
Be Open to Feedback
Openness to feedback can improve one's likability and interpersonal relationships. In a business context, colleagues, peers, and leaders feel comfortable sharing observations and improvement ideas when they know the person on the receiving end is willing to accept various perspectives and adapt their ways of working based on new knowledge and observations.
Keeping the status quo hinders creative freedom and innovation, so humbly and authentically embracing fresh perspectives rarely goes unnoticed. It has the double benefit of making one more likable and more effective in one's role.
Shannon Ewan, CEO, ICAgile
Remember Personal Details
One simple habit or thing to be likable is to remember little things about people - how they like their coffee, their child's name, or even the last conversation they had with you. It's important to be authentic when repeating these facts and to be genuinely interested in them, not just trying to win a popularity contest.