Beware the vampire boss: are you draining your team's energy? How these four management behaviours will demotivate your team – and what to do instead

While ghouls and goblins may be creeping around this spooky season, the real bloodsuckers might be lurking in your office. No, we're not talking about literal vampires—but managers who, much like their fanged counterparts, inadvertently drain the life and energy out of their teams.

Poor management practices can quickly turn a team into the disengaged, demotivated undead. Employees who feel well-supported by their manager are 3.4 times more likely to be engaged, while those stuck working under poor managers are 60% more likely to feel stressed. So, how do you know if you've become a vampire boss?

Here are four common 'vampiric' management behaviours that could be sucking the energy out of your team—and how to stake them for good:

1. Not allowing space for employees to contribute their own ideas

Often, as leaders and managers, we feel that we should have all of the answers, and as a result, we're quick to jump in with our own solutions whenever a problem presents itself. Our team can find this incredibly demotivating, as it signals that their ideas aren't valued or welcomed. Over time, employees who are sidelined in this way end up losing autonomy over their work and simply wait instead for direction from their managers before carrying out orders. We call this a command-and-control model, and it's an incredibly toxic, yet typical, dynamic in many workplaces.

Managers who find themselves doing this should look for 'coachable moments', i.e. incidents where a team member brings a problem or situation that they could be involved in solving. When these arise, allow the team member to explore their decision-making, giving them the space to suggest ideas and talk them through. Developing this coaching mindset demonstrates that their thinking and contributions are valued, encouraging them to bring ideas to the table in a safe, inclusive and collaborative environment.

2. Not asking questions of others

Another symptom of the vampire boss, not asking questions of others, is a surefire way of compounding the command-and-control dynamic. This doesn't mean questioning why a deadline has been missed or 'why on earth did you tell the client that?!' But a powerful question designed to stimulate the employee's thinking during a coachable moment.

Many managers use questions to collect information for them to be able to solve the problem, but questions can be an incredibly powerful way of helping others to develop their problem-solving capabilities, which ultimately benefits the entire team. Purposeful enquiry enables us to consider: 'What questions could I ask to help this person develop the confidence to tackle similar situations independently in the future?'

Avoid asking 'why' questions as these can often sound critical or assign blame. Instead, replace 'why' questions with 'what' questions, encouraging employees to analyse the facts and share their thought processes.

3. Failing to give 'appreciative feedback'

There is a preconception that giving feedback can create conflict, so many managers and leaders avoid giving feedback altogether. Not so with 'appreciative feedback'. Employees who feel recognised are 18 times more likely to produce great work, and this motivating factor makes the technique so effective.

Rather than reserving feedback for constructive purposes like 'that was good, but try this next time', giving appreciative feedback involves reinforcing positive behaviour or any action that contributes to your team's goals. For example, a team member could have expertly dealt with an awkward client – recognising this visibly to your team with appreciation shows others that 'this is the way we do things'.

Other team members can learn from this for the next time they have a similar situation. The key is to ensure the praise is given immediately and focused on the 'behaviour' that made the difference, which is objective, rather than making it more generally about the person, which is subjective.

4. Doing instead of listening

Driven by a belief that they should be seen to be decisive, managers often take on too much of the 'doing' and fail to remember to listen. Some default to this belief because they're afraid to add to their own teams' workload or because they find it easier to 'do' something themselves rather than explain or trust in others. But listening is the only way to cultivate trust within teams, and it's something you won't see in any workplace dominated by fear-based leadership.

Active listening is an effective communication skill that all managers should practice, and it goes beyond simply hearing what others are saying. If you're actively listening, you're picking up on body language, facial expressions and even what isn't being said. Understanding what employees value, where they might need support, and how they see things is crucial for building trust and honesty.

Through listening, one might find that their team is more than capable than first thought, enabling managers to be more comfortable spreading the workload they carry more equally across the team.

While the idea of a "vampire boss" is playful, the effects of poor management on employee well-being and engagement are all too real. But it doesn't have to be that way.

By fostering a coaching mindset, asking powerful questions, and genuinely listening, managers can create an environment where their team feels valued, empowered, and motivated to do their best work. Ultimately, the key to avoiding the fate of the vampire boss lies in the ability to unlock a team's potential and empower them to shine.